Take it All Off!

Okay…I am a little wierded out. I was researching bikini wax issues and have seen many very explicit photos, illustrating the various styles. There is a whole subculture of bikini waxing that I was oblivious to! (for those of you who are curious, Wikipedia, which I have read is not a great source to reference, has a great summary of styles along with photos of some of them).

  

I have had several bikini waxes in my life, which I have to say are definitely superior to shaving! Skin irritation, after the post wax redness goes away, is minimal, and the hair stays away longer. Shaving, which I now do in emergencies only has a greater tendency to lead to ingrown hairs. I have tried many different shaving techniques to avoid this, including dry shaving, changing the direction I shave in, using antiseptics prior to shaving, using one time use razors etc. Inevitably I still end up with some form of irritation.

Historically as swimsuits evolved in size, so did the need to remove unwanted hair. This notion crosses many cultures and has been around for thousands of years. Not surprisingly body hair period on women is considered unattractive in many cultures. More aggressive hair removal is much more recent in this country. Hair removal in the nether regions has become very mainstream and this growing market includes young adolescent girls. My aesthetician informed me that the youngest girl she had performed a Brazilian wax (all off, including the back) was 13. Her and a friend took the bus over to her shop, and barely had enough money to pay, literally counting their pennies! They were heading on a beach vacation with their families. For both of the girls this was their first time. My aesthetician was in a conundrum as she didn’t know if this was something parental consent was or should be required for.
This is definitely a different “trend” if you will in this generation than it was with mine. It seems however more and more women are doing it, and more and more men are learning that less hair is normal and more attractive, while more hair is not. Uncovering more of the body with skimpier clothing, sexy thongs, smaller bikinis etc. seem to be driving the trend.

 I think there ends up being a larger effect culturally. Historically the bikini wax, particularly the Brazilian, has had a stigma associated with sexuality, particularly with the porn industry. As it becomes more mainstream, that association moves further away, and it becomes just part of the normal woman’s body maintenance. This essentially now means removing all of her body hair except head, eyebrows and lashes. Sometimes I step back from these culture expectations and I can actually see the ridiculousness in them. How trivial and meaningless on a larger scale these modifications are. Natural is no longer attractive on the human body. Not just with body hair either. Breast size, lip plumpness, age defying procedures and products, hair colorants (heaven forbid we ever see grey hairs!). No wonder it sucks to get old, our message is that it is unattractive and to be avoided at all costs.

 Ironically in one article I read on Fashionicon.com there was a comment on the cyclic nature of “styles” and that au natural may actually be coming back in. Am I the only one who finds this asinine? Look at cultures that find foot binding, and bone piercings attractive…isn’t this just our silly little version of that?

 Are you telling me that my young daughter will grow up ashamed of her god given body hair? That she will shell out thousands of dollars in her life time to get it all ripped violently off month after month? How did we get ourselves convinced that this was the right way to do it? Was our body insecurity so great and the need to please our men’s fetishes so overpowering we gave in and let ourselves be brainwashed into thinking this natural aspect of our bodies was wrong, ugly and shameful too? Is there any part of the women’s body that is exempt from this type of critique? If we can’t celebrate our own naturalness and personal beauty, how can we expect any one else too?

 Again I am surprised at what I learned from exploring this issue. Again I felt the need to learn this mysterious beauty routine. After being told I didn’t measure up to the normal woman with my nether regions, I jumped right back into the conditioned behavior we as women have learned so well, “You’re right, I am not good enough, show me how to make me better, and please tell me what better is!”

 The survey on this site right now shows that all women are doing something on a regular basis to modify their pubes. Like a good hair cut, likely some upkeep is a good idea now and then. I have to say though, the Brazilian is off putting. I am starting to wonder if the motivation behind it has anything to do with the woman’s desire for neatness, rather than her desire to avoid the shame attached to going au natural. So far no woman in the poll group reports adopting that look.

 Culturally we are as susceptible as any nation to developing our own expectations and definitions of beauty. This seemingly has become one of them. I have always shaved my legs, but resent it. Shaving my under arms is an enormous pain in my ass. But, if I let it go for a few days, my husband is revolted, and reports without issue that it is highly unappealing. What up girlfriends? His chest, back, legs, crotch, face, underarms, ass, ears, nose are all hairy and I don’t give him a hard time about that do I? (well somewhat of a hard time on some of those, but a shaved man is creepy too!).

 So here we go again with the “Find your Style Comfort Zone” speech. There are different degrees of waxing. From just enough to wear a moderate bikini to nary a hair as far as the eye can see. With the French/Landing Strip wax only a small rectangle of hair is left above the goods. With the more conservative American wax, just enough is removed to avoid any strays. Like a man’s facial hair, this is a woman’s opportunity to alter her appearance and keep her man guessing.

 The Brazilian wax involves all off from the front to back, including around the anus. I can only imagine the odd positions one must get into to accomplish that, and the degree of intimate knowledge your waxing expert will gain of your anatomy. Waxing is also not without some discomfort and a risk of infection if not done properly. Finding a reputable salon is of the utmost importance. Our Brazilian nanny did her own waxing, which I am proud of her for, but don’t necessarily recommend. Her words were that it was totally worth it and it was the best option. She herself was disgusted at her own pubic hair. One glass of wine, she said, and no problem!

 I am heading to the beach next week and will get some waxing done for the following reasons: I will be in a bikini and I admit the thought of any visible hair is not acceptable, the waxing for my legs lasts for weeks and I don’t have to shave (yippee), and of course no ingrowns. I typically get the American wax, but I am going to go a little more bilingual this trip and move closer to the French side of things…we will see how that goes!