Hairs to Me!

photo by kthompsonstudio

Perhaps some of you have read an earlier post I wrote about waxing and a life shaping comment made by one of my first lovers. He calmly told me one afternoon that “I was pretty hairy down there”. He informed me that most women modified their body hair in one way or another and to a varying degree. For much of my life this statement has haunted me with subsequent intimate encounters. I wondered if these men were also taken aback by my excessive hairiness. I imagined them as jungle explorers, confronted with intimidating fronts of thick and intertwining overgrowth. That maybe the lack of cunning linguistics was not a reflection of the overall selfishness of men in general, but rather their lack of bravery in entering the forbidden forest. If they were able to hack their way through…I was unable to completely relax fearing all shorts of shameful hair related incidents.

As part of this journey I recently was at my aesthetician’s salon, and proceeded to interview her, during my appointment, about all things related to body hair removal. In one simple statement, she erased all of the insecurities so naively implanted by this former lover. I told her what he had said to me, and she laughed to herself. “This is nothing”, she said, “I can’t believe he said that to you…there is no truth to that at all!” I was dumbstruck. Are you kidding me? Any attempts at all in the last two decades for south of the border action were met with my internal alarm bells, and any pleasure was quickly sapped from the experience. Even standing naked in front of a man, I was certain he was put off by what I had been told was my unnatural hairiness.

I am pissed at this boyfriend! Based upon his own limited experience, he had branded me for much of my adult life with a belief that I was abnormal and thus less attractive. I will say it again, men be cautious of these flippant observations that you share with the woman in your lives. You can hardly understand the far reaching effects they can have! What if I irresponsibly went around telling all of my sexual partners their penises were much smaller than most I had seen or that indeed most men waxed their balls. (My aesthetician informed me that there is a male Brazilian wax our there, that involves taking all of the hair off a man’s nether regions. She told stories of girlfriends coming in the room to help hold and support the sensitive and loose tissue, while the man would sometimes develop an erection at the fantasy of two women messing with his bits!) It might be a great social experiment for women to drop their superior sensitivity and start spreading male insecurity as rampantly and guiltlessly as men seem to be able to spread it to us!

 I asked her at what age she was seeing girls/women come in for waxing. For lower leg waxing (which reportedly will reduce the amount of hair that regrows in later life if started young, thus reducing the need to shave and or wax) she was having girls of 12 or 13 years being brought in by their mothers. Some of these poor girls were unable to make it through the whole waxing procedure however, due to the pain of it. These appointments often would have to end long before the work was completed. This is an odd thing for a mother to promote for her daughter at such a young age, I thought, as hair is seldom much of a concern at this point and I could not fathom why they would want to begin to instill the inevitable life long belief that they must modify their bodies to be attractive, at so tender an age. As puberty hits, it seems to me they have enough to deal with!

 For bikini waxing including full Brazilian waxing, she reported that she would not perform it for girls under 18, which I applaud her for. She did share that she gets requests from much younger clients however. In her career she has many a story of pubic hair extending along the inner thigh, a great distance from the typical bikini area. She stated that certain ethnicities were prone to a greater bounty of hair. Italian and Latin being named specifically but the cultural interpretation of this hair was more accepting than ours. She has witnessed a wide array of piercings and tattoos that never cease to amaze her.

 I asked her what her clients were telling her as the main motivation for waxing, particularly Brazilian waxing. She stated that it was a combination of wanting to be edgy and risqué and to turn on their partners with others needing it to be comfortable beach going with certain smaller bikinis. She did report that the frequency of the request was increasing and the negative stigma associated with it decreasing. She herself felt that she no longer wanted to perform them however, as she really no longer wanted that kind of intimate exposure in her life. She was beginning to refer these requests to other practitioners within her own spa.

 I also asked her how waxing proceeded for the back door areas. I had heard that some request their clients to assume the hands and knees position. She reported that in her spa they worked very hard to preserve the comfort of their clients, and that she felt this position to be somewhat degrading. She preferred to have her clients lying on their side, while lifting one butt cheek upwards and out of the way while the waxing was performed. I had thought I would personally experience the Brazilian wax for research purposes, but I have to say I no longer have the nerve for it!

 She herself had had it done only once and decided to never have it done again as she was not comfortable with her resemblance to a prepubescent girl. She also related that there is a biological reason for male and female pubic hair which involves pheromone release in response to seeing it. Part of our unconscious attraction to each other is based upon the presence of this aforementioned hair. It makes sense that this sexually motivated reaction would not be present or considered normal directed towards a young, hairless girl.

 I asked her what happened when it grew back in. “Itchy”, she said. The more typical waxing she sees is the American…which essentially follows just inside the bikini bottom shape, and her preference, the French, which leaves a small, neat rectangle of hair just above the beginning of the labia. I went for the French this time for my beach vacation which she painstakingly worked on making centered and even. I commend her for her workmanship! The skin in this area for me stayed pretty red and irritated for a few days afterward, not exactly attractive in the bikini…so I would suggest going in several days before your beach departure to avoid exposing this unsightly reaction.

 All in all I feel I have significantly increased my knowledge of this formerly unknown area of the girly girl maintenance plan. Unimaginably, it has also undone one of the greatest myths I had imposed upon my own body. I am like a woman reborn…no longer self conscious about my god given mantle of hair! I can only imagine the possibilities this will open up for me and the new freedom I have gained! Since it obviously was a big hang up for this twit of an ex boyfriend, I shall curse him to a life shared with super hairy women who are completely comfortable with their natural selves and lack any interest whatsoever in body hair modification!