Finding the Inner Girly-Girl

I am a self described tom boy. I think I have always been oblivious and at the very least undereducated about the intricacies of being a “girly-girl”. I would define a tom-boy as someone who seemingly cares very little about what they look like or what they wear. Minimal time and effort is expended in the realm of “primping”, and thus there is a certain constant drab and unnoticeable appearance. I became aware of my short comings in the girly girl world many times over the years. I was oftened confronted directly with information that seemed foreign and yet mainstream. I wondered, how could I not know this? And more importantly, how did you all learn about this?

I was killing some time one Sunday afternoon, recreationally shopping in a large department store, that conveniently hosted a top coffee retailer, to add to my blissful sale surfing. I was bedecked as usual in my most unfashionable, yet highly comfortable capris. I had on some form of urban recreational sandal, again super comfortable, along with my reliable old black purse, and a recreated retro T-shirt. I wore no make-up…because in my town, people notice when you wear makeup, and had my hair expertly fashioned in a mid-skull pony tail.

This was quite a typical presentation for me. As years with young children had passed, less and less time seemed to be available to devote to pretty-fying myself. As I pushed my cart, with hot Chai in hand, I began to observe the other recreating shoppers in the vicinity. A pattern seemed to emerge, and I realized most surprisingly, that we had unknowingly all worn the same outfit! Far from the faux pas of an A-lister party dress duplication, this seemed merely a resignation that life had no time in it for anymore than “throwing something on”. When had we stopped taking care of ourselves?

As my vision panned wider and wider in the store, I realized that most of the other women in the store were dressed the same way. I was stunned by how this had somehow become the uniform of the middle aged woman! There was nothing standout-ish about it! We were a Land’s End catalogue…content to melt into the background of linoleum flooring and heavily discounted cleaning products. We had no shape, no flash! Our toes weren’t cutely colored, our accessories didn’t polish our looks!


As I gazed over the crowd, the odd shopper would seemingly rise above the rest and stand out. A woman walked by, so meticulously put together, I was sure she had spent the better part of the day assembling the package. To make matters more confusing, she had 3 reasonably well behaved and put together children tagging along. Surely she must neglect her children to accomplish such a look. Did she leave her children screaming for her, while she curled her eyelashes? As much as I criticized her, inwardly I was also envious. I too was once a cute, nay, hot young thing. I used to wear makeup and style my hair! My clothes used to fit, and by God I DID NOT HAVE A MUFFIN-TOP (I didn’t even know what that was, until I heard someone mocking another woman with one, and sadly noticed I had one too.)



Could it be that many of the other mom-appareled women were feeling the same way? Who has the time for all that maintenance? Where do they fit it in? I have zero time to even get my legs shaved on a regular basis let alone a perfectly coiffed doo and flawless make up! Surely she was shallow and uninteresting, and what in God’s name could we possibly have in common? I secretly yearned however, for her knowledge- her understanding of the routines and steps to pull such a put-together appearance off. I have always felt that the area of the girly girl was beyond my reach.

I wondered what other details was I missing? What other girly-girl techniques did I not know? I hid behind my tomboy- ness, but knew that there was a dormant girly-girl inside me somewhere, who just did not know how to get out. As youth leaves me, and more attention to detail becomes required to hide that fact, it made more and more sense to learn the ways of the wise and fabulous girly-girl.

In this blog I will share this journey of discovery and transformation with you. For many of you, this will be old hat, but I dare bet that for a larger majority of you, this will be a welcome “how-to-guide” to being a more put-together and cared-for version of you. I will never be a full on “girly-girl”, I intuitively know I just don’t have it in me. I hope at least to learn to run with the pack and stand out a little at the mall.