Men in Tights: The Height of Fashion!

photo by hagerstenguy (flickr)

I once had an art teacher in high school, who frowned upon realism and lauded abstraction, distributing grades accordingly. Her bias forced me to draw or paint wacky things just to get decent grades. The wackier the piece I handed in, the better in her eyes, as it showed more “creativity”. I would often laugh hysterically as I created these masterpieces. I wasn’t interested in what I was creating at all. What she thought was the right way or the better way to create art, made me conform, and give up the way I wanted to do things. She wasn’t a very good art teacher. The best art teachers are the ones that teach you that whatever you freely create is perfect, and whatever you did to get there is the right technique.


 Self expression is like that. We express ourselves with our personal style. Our level of comfort with colors or flashiness, determine what we migrate towards when we shop. Chances are that each of our closets has a pretty consistent recipe of clothing and that items we have purchased when trying to “step out of our box” or that were a deal too good to pass up, but not quite what we usually buy, collect dust in the dark recesses of our closet, and are never worn. The things that get the most wear, are likely very similar items, that we have a great deal of comfort with.


I feel stuck in a rut of sameness and blandness in my closet. I walk into it regularly, convinced I have nothing to wear (despite the fact that it is a relatively large walk in closet, with very little free space). I really began to feel I lacked the ability to put a wardrobe together that was user friendly and the knack to put items together that worked. Watching shows like “What Not to Wear” portray these incredible fashion transformations with just a few handy tips on flattering cuts, great accessorizing etc. Perhaps if my friends would nominate me for a show like that, all my fashion woes would disappear and I would never look back, ever more the fashion diva!


 Alas the nomination is not forthcoming and I have thus had to look elsewhere for this brand of genius! I have recently befriended a fashion forward fellow, who I have latched onto greedily, asking all manner of questions in matters of outfitting. He knows designers and fashion, loves women’s clothing and shopping in general. I know what you are thinking, and trust me he does too! He is as straight as they come however, but possesses the rare and fabulous benefits of a gay male friend (I must apologize for stereotyping, but I have to say those men can dress!) He can out shop his beautiful wife, picking out perfect ensembles and accessories! He fully appreciates a well outfitted person, man or woman, understanding the extra effort and care they expend on getting it right.

 I interviewed him over lunch recently, convinced that I could learn the techniques to his great taste and his finished look. I knew that if I asked the right questions and was a good student, I would be a better dresser by the weekend! Ironically, during our “Fashion Lunch Interview”, he was dressed in a cyclist outfit. I thought this amusing and told him so. He however explained that the biking tights he was wearing (far from the fruit cup exploiting kind we women run screaming away from) were actually carefully chosen, the best you can buy bike short, and the jersey, a collector’s item of sorts. Unbelievable! Even his athletic wear was fashionable!

 I asked him all sorts of questions. And often his answers surprised me. Here is a sample of what I learned: *I shall refer to my source simply as FTC. Some of this is paraphrased, and some is directly quoted.



Moi: Why be fashionable?

 FTC: Fashion is a means of self expression. It does not require a spoken word, but it reveals something about you. That message can be manipulated by your choice of clothing on any given day. At whatever level of fashion you find yourself in, I feel the decisions we make are conscious and convey whatever message we are comfortable with.

 Moi:  What impression do you get when you see a poorly dressed woman?

FTC:  I don't know that a poorly dressed woman makes any impression on me, which, it seems to me, is a wasted opportunity. It does not mean that a poorly dressed woman cannot make her presence felt, it just means it won't be through her choice of clothing and accessories. On the other hand, I always notice a nicely put together person, male or female and no matter the age. I consider their choices and admire thoughtful combinations.

Moi: You shallow bastard! (Kidding! Kidding! I did not say that!) Why are you interested in fashion?

FTC: With regard to the why, I am not entirely sure. It could relate to that initial impression. In my work and with co-workers, I frequently remind them that there are two requirements in our interactions with potential and existing clients: look smart and be smart. If you don't look smart -- in the context of our work, for example, by using proper grammar and punctuation -- you may never get the opportunity to demonstrate that you actually are smart. A simple that/which error may cause the client to conclude that you don't have the necessary attention to detail or brainpower for the assignment. My interest in fashion stems, at least in part, from an unwillingess to cede any ground in that initial encounter.

 Moi: (“Wow that makes a lot of sense and is really well thought out”, I thought.) How do you know what you want to buy?

FTC: I have a mental inventory of what I have in my closet at any given time. I am aware of things I am missing or that could be added to that inventory. When I shop I am very direct about what I am there for, and rarely browse for just anything. The most important factors are quality of materials/construction and timeliness. By timeliness, I mean that it has to have a contemporary look and feel. This requires attention to what is or is not in style. That being said, I don’t just buy things because they are in style or fashionable, it has to fit with how I choose to express myself.

Moi: Your budget for clothing is a little higher than the average person. Do you think you can be fashionable on any budget?


FTC: It is probably harder, but I think it can be done. The biggest mistake I think people make who are shopping with a limited budget, is buying a lot of inexpensive things, rather than one or two really nice but slightly more expensive things. The quality and fit of these items is much better, and they will last and look a lot better on. If your closet has cool things in it, you will look cool when you get dressed.

 Moi: How do you manage your closet?

 FTC: I look at the items in my closet as part of a collection. Some items I have had for many years, while others are weeded out when styles change or when I feel they need to be removed. Even though I may have loved something very much at one point, if fashion changes significantly, I won’t feel comfortable wearing these items, and donate them or pass them on to friends. From season to season, I move things in and out of the closet and I keep things pretty organized.

 Moi: Will you buy something just for the “name”?

 FTC: There are times that I will and only because my familiarity with that brand guarantees a certain level of quality or a style that I know I like.


As the lunch proceeded, something started to dawn on me. When I began this journey I was looking for techniques and methods I could use to dress better and shop more wisely. As we continued to talk I realized the greatest skill FTC possessed that I did not was his full awareness of what his personal style and tastes are. He is confident in his choices because he is intimately aware of how he wants to present himself to the world. I realized that there was no technique or secret know-how that I could master as a means to better style!

 What I learned was I needed to get rid of the influences of what other people thought looked good or was the right way to dress and identify my style. FTC and I agreed that people who purport to be non-conformists and dress goth, are actually creating a conscious fashion statement that expresses something about themselves. They are no more or less fashionable than the people sitting in the audience of a haute couture fashion show (although I think some of those people lack a sense of personal style and actually do just buy the clothing that someone else has told them is in at the moment…which is essence could be a personal style too…) Who knew we would get philosophical!

 FTC unwittingly supported my theory of the great art teacher! Self expression via fashion has the same rules. The most perfect look for me is not contrived or forced to fit a certain societal or personal preference imposed by someone else. Rather, it is an honest expression of my confidence in how I want to present myself to the world! With a little organization and wardrobe inventory I can’t help but look fabulous! (at least to me!) Which in reality is what matters.

The greatest artists painted for themselves and for the sheer joy of expression. I too shall start with that!