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| Photo by chefranden. |
I have been feeling this burn out for a number of years, and continue to try and muscle through these feelings, expecting them to pass. The problem is that they don’t go away. I can bury them under some other focus for a while, but eventually the feeling comes back. Certain parts of my job continue to stimulate and engage me, remnants of intrinsic rewards I felt earlier on in my career. Other parts of my job, the ones that are persistent, unchanging issues, bear down on me, like some enormous weight that squashes any passion resurrected by the other aspects.
At times I try and avoid dealing with these loathsome tasks. The result is a form of procrastination that only intensifies these issues, keeping them at the edges of everything else I try and accomplish. Facing them head on offers some relief, however the knowledge that the same sets of issues will inevitably crop up time and time again, deflates any sense of success I might have felt. I think about dissecting my job or delegating away these issues, but my specialized knowledge with regards to these areas, makes that impossible.
One cause of burn out, is making yourself irreplaceable. If you are the best resource for a given task, then the task will be assigned to you. Even if you do re-assign the task, you will likely have to micromanage it so much, that you may as well have done it yourself. Mentoring someone to be able to handle this task is one strategy, but finding the right, trustworthy person to complete the task to your and other’s expectations can be a challenge. Knowing that you will always be the “go-to-guy” for certain tasks, builds up pressure from performance expectations. With that comes the knowledge that people will grow to expect the same successful outcomes, to the same degree, every time you are met with this task. This is intensified if you are an expert in a career field, whom others look to for answers.
Within my own career, I have achieved the highest level, outside of teaching or academia that I can achieve. In my professional group, I have no mentors- I am the teacher. I continue to build my own knowledge with experience and reading etc. but there isn’t anyone I am trying to “best” anymore. There are very few things that I can add to my job that are challenging. A career that at one point I had to struggle to master and create a reputation within has become repetitive and mundane.
When I was striving to build this reputation, I had very few boundaries. I would work long hours, opening my schedule to meet just about any client request that was asked of me. Now, years later, I realize that there is an expectation that I will still do that. My new, more balanced self, realizes that this loss of control is a big part of my burn out. I am giving myself permission to set boundaries and to hold them strongly. Simple things, like taking a lunch hour. I have worked for 17 years, willing to give up or not take a lunch hour, for the benefit of my clients. The simplicity of this “fix” has relieved some of my resentment towards my job. In a larger sense, it allows me to see that I can set boundaries that I value, without compromising my career.
I sat down and made a list of things that I felt were out of balance in my life: work, family time, me time etc. I then created a Value Framework: of these issues, which was likely to affect me the most negatively if I continued to short change it. From there, I identified what tasks within that issue I could perform, and feel I had met my desired level of participation or commitment. I was then able to look at my schedule as a whole and determine where I could plug these tasks in. For example, spending time volunteering at my kid’s school was an important item (Perfect Mom Peer Pressure). Friday is a great day for that, as there is a consistent schedule of activities that require and encourage parent participation. Voila! I set Fridays aside to fulfill this need and help me keep balance. It also serves the “Me Time” need, as I can sneak in some exercise or writing or whatever, around these activities.
Restructuring my schedule, using this framework, has helped. I have clear boundaries and I am finding more balance between all of the things I want to be doing. This plan isn’t fool proof however. My good intentions get shot to hell when unexpected issues come up that demand I rearrange my schedule. I have noted that because of the modest amount of control I have regained by aligning my schedule with my Value Framework, my annoyance at these events is less.
When you feel burn out, your first instinct might be to change careers and quit altogether. Lord knows I have thought of that time and time again. Financial obligations tie me to my career. I have let that thought morph into the feeling of being trapped by my career, increasing my sense of loss of control. Each of the small steps I have taken and will continue to take, have helped me to regain better balance in my life. I am more hopeful now, that if I can rework my Value Framework correctly, I just might start finding enjoyment in my job again.
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