Come in Radio China!!



Bike Boobs
photo by Bilbord99

 W hen the machine that has been crushing my breast finally releases, I am slow to look down, certain my breast will stay that shape permanently. This is only my second screening mammogram and the whole process is still foreign. Just like the annual “girly check up” this procedure remains modestly embarrassing and uncomfortable, no matter how many you have had. It isn’t painful, at least for me, I have heard some women say it hurts a lot. There is just something odd about a total stranger getting that friendly with my boobs. I admit that as I get older, my level of discomfort has decreased, but hasn’t completely disappeared.

My favorite thing about the procedure is all the free breast cancer awareness marketing items-pens and notepads, nail files, mints, brochures, pins etc. While in the waiting room I stuffed my purse with pens for my friends…they are pink after all! You certainly must admire the marketing done for breast cancer awareness! Pink ribbons are everywhere! The worst part of the appointment is looking at my hospital wrist band that states my age…in writing. I am still convinced they are mistaking me for someone else. After 39 I stopped counting, and when asked how old I am I have to pause…and am often not precisely sure if I have given them my right age.

I was told not to wear deodorant… I am a little worried I might start smelling, but so far so good. Must be the aluminum in it or something that can cause the machine to explode…or just make it hard to get a good image. I am still searching for an effective alternative to aluminum containing deodorant. Something about the link between aluminum and alzheimer’s makes me nervous, but not nervous enough to have B.O.

After I swab any residual deodorant from by pits and place on the shawl like gown, I enter the exam room, with a surprising level of comfort with this complete stranger handling and mashing my breasts. The machine is a free standing contraption, situated in a patient friendly, “homey” room (part of the new hospital attempt to not look like a hospital. Don’t tell the decorator, but even their pink wallpaper and plastic flowers can’t hide the conspicuous looking hospitally machine sitting there, waiting to smoosh my breasts. As the technician begins to position me and my chest against the two plate like pads, I focus on getting the position just right…almost like a personal challenge to demonstrate my tremendous body control and ability to follow instructions. I am concerned by how difficult it seems to briefly hold my breath while the image is taken…it isn’t that long but somehow I just can’t wait to breathe. As she shoots each of the four images, I work on improved breath holding techniques, and by the end it seems much easier.

When she is done with the image taking, a strange part of the appointment follows as she puts the images up on the screen and quickly flashes through them. Her demeanor and presentation are so similar to my first experience that I am convinced these technicians are trained to say the same thing. I look closely at the pictures believing that if there is anything nefarious, I will certainly see it. I also look at her face closely to see if there is any indication of something wrong. The first time I had the exam I was convinced I had seen something, and I awaited the bad news over the next week. Happily it was negative and my inferior skills as a radiologist were verified. I am a little more relaxed this time, knowing that these technicians make no attempt at all to read the images, but merely confirm the images are good enough quality. She obviously works very hard to not give any information at all.

I return to the change room and quickly spray on some of the thoughtfully provided spray deodorant. I also continue to pilfer the free pink goodies and fill my purse to bursting. I briefly scan a brochure that illustrates the size of a tumor that self breast examination can miss compared to what a mammogram can pick up, and it surprises me. Tumors the size of dimes or even quarters can be missed with self exam. It is currently recommended that a woman have an annual mammogram starting at the age of 40 even if she doesn’t have a family history (family history has to start with someone after all). The brochure states that your risk factors for getting breast cancer include getting older and being a woman. Check and check. If there is a history of breast cancer in your family, you can opt for earlier screening as well.

There was a recent commotion in the medical community about reducing the frequency of exams as well as delaying the age at which they start. There conclusions were loosely based on a couple of studies. I was so miffed I read the studies and critiqued the recommendation and sent it into the dissenting organization. The Komen foundation fought that recommendation ferociously. Statistically breast screening with mammography saves a substantial amount of lives. It behooves all women to connect with Komen to protect these valuable screening tools and prevent insurers from no longer paying for them. Most insurers include annual mammograms as routine care and pay 100% for the examination.

I should hear back from the doctor within seven days if they find something or get an all clear letter in ten if the screen is negative. I am happy this is just a routine screening, and I can make light of it. When the technician checks you in she asks if this is a routine appointment. I can only imagine how different this experience would have been had the answer been no.

UPDATE:

Ironically after posting this post, I received a call from my doctor!  And yes, it is within the first 7 days.  Seems they found a density, and I am off for some additional screening.  "Probably normal tissue" they say...but we will see.


ww5.komen.org