It's Not You, It's Me!



Photo by russelljsmith.

Yikes! I ran into my regular hairdresser today! Of all places, I was in the waiting room of my doctor’s office, when she walked in. I was reading the newspaper at the time and casually raised it high enough to obscure my face. It was reminiscent of running into an ex or a one night stand you never wanted to see again. I felt like I had betrayed her and if she were to see me with my new hair cut and color, she would know instantly I was seeing someone else!

She walked into the clinic for her appointment, and I was left sitting there, with my newspaper heft unusually high in front of me! I sat bemused and stymied by the situation. Should I say hi? How would I cover up my hair betrayal? Several ideas ran through my mind. “Oh, a friend gave me a gift certificate!” or “I did it myself, it’s awful I know!” I had never been in this situation before. Our town is small and I was certain I would have to confront her sometime. What would she do? Would she be devastated and run willy-nilly out of the office or would she slam the other hairstylist’s work asking bitterly, “Who cut your hair???”

As I thought about it, nothing I could say seemed appropriate. “I grew tired of you and wanted to try someone new.” “My hair and you needed a break.” “I have feelings for my new hairdresser, I think we should see other people”. How do you handle the hairdresser break up? Do I just let myself drop off her schedule or do I call her and tell her I’m leaving her for another woman?

Hairdresser/client relationships can be very strong for women, as they involve all the elements of a great friendship. You share stories of your life, you have placed trust in her and there is intimacy connected to the touch exchanged during your appointments. How does she feel knowing you have abandoned this relationship? Ultimately you have a business relationship with your stylist. As etiquette coach Jodi R.R Smith stated in an article titled “Breaking Up with Your Hairdresser”, “She is in it for the money, not for stories about your dog!” It is not like we hung out or anything. I don’t even know where she lives!

Do I owe her a face to face break up speech or do I do it the old fashioned way and ignore her? This opportunity passed me by, as she exited the office before I could emerge from behind my newspaper. Of course she saw me! She has probably been here before…seen the same attempts to avoid her. She should have known it would happen sooner or later, as I had after all, left someone else for her! Obviously I had to have a hairdresser in my life at all times, I couldn’t do it on my own…and I just seemed to jump from one to the other, unable to make a long term commitment.

It seems hard to demean our past by saying it was just a “business relationship” but somehow leaving seems easier if I do. I know she will be okay, she is a great lady, and other customers are going to love her. It’s not personal, I just know we will both be happier this way! My hair has outgrown her and it is time to move on. I’m in love with my new hairstyle and my new hairdresser! I can’t go back now, having tasted the forbidden fruit of great hair and tons of compliments! I just hope the next time I see her, I have a newspaper handy!