Blog in Brief: Is it Safe to Go to the Movies, Mom?

Photo by whiteafrican.

"Murderers don't go to children's movies!" I blurted out, shocked that my seven year old son had just asked me if there might be a murderer at the movie theater we were headed to.  We were off to see "ParaNorman-3D" ($3Bucks) and out of the blue, he started to ask if we would be safe.  

Recovering somewhat, I added in a "don't-be-silly-tone", "There won't be a murderer at the movie theater, Honey."  I  can't believe I just said that sentence! 

"But how do you know for sure, Mom?" I watched him nervously in the rear view mirror, wondering how much this was effecting him.  I realized he was not going to let this rest.  He was genuinely worried about our safety.  How was I supposed to answer this question?  How different is the world that he is growing up in, that he has to worry whether or not some maniac might open fire on him...at the movies, at the mall, at school??

"Bad people like that are very rare, and those things don't happen very often,"  I began.  Hoping not to create more fear I added, "Sometimes airplanes crash, but we still go on them.  These accidents don't happen very often and we know that almost all of the time, we will be safe."  This placated him a little, but I could still see the possibility of being attacked at the movie theater was worrying him.   My mind was racing.  How far was the right distance to travel with this subject?

I began to wonder whether it was my duty to give him the knowledge and tools to handle a shooting situation.  It worried me to discuss this in detail, lest I turn him into a fearful and paranoid individual.  I still believe these episodes are unlikely to ever happen to us... Could the frequency of these episodes continue to increase and actually become part of his future reality and something he would have to be on the lookout for?  Was teaching my child how to protect himself in this kind of situation now a necessary part of parenting?

I had recently watched a video that was chain-mailed to me, called "Run Hide Fight: Surviving an Active Shooter Event" available on YouTube on the following link: 

https://www.google.com/search?q=run+hide+fight+you+tube&sugexp=chrome,mod=13&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

At first I was skeptical about watching it...worrying it was just a gun rights promo video.  Afterwards however, I was glad that I had, and yet saddened that such a video needed ever have been made.  This viral video presents a graphic dramatization of a public shooting incident that provides guidance about what to do if you should ever, God forbid, find yourself in a situation such as this. Armed with this information, I decided to take the discussion with my son one step further, and actually review what he should do in the event of a shooting.

"What do you think you should do if there ever was someone with a gun at the movies?" I asked, monitoring his reaction in the mirror. 

"RUN!"  he stated confidently.

"That's right!" I replied.  "Would you stand up and run?"  I tested.

"No, I would get down low!"  he said defiantly.  

"If it wasn't safe to run, would you hide?" I asked, feeling more at ease with the conversation.  He seemed to feel better knowing we were making a plan.

"Yes," he agreed.

We further discussed that it was most important to make himself safe first and to be Super-Spy quiet.  We discussed calling for help and warning other people, much like it is reviewed in the video.   

As we arrived at the theater, his questions had ceased.  Perhaps he believed that there would be no gunman after all or perhaps he felt safer knowing that we knew how to handle it if there was.  I hoped I had handled this properly.  I hoped I'd risen to this unexpected motherly challenge.  I hoped we would be safe...