Blog In Brief: Has Anyone Seen My PMS?

Photo by Bixentro.

"Maybe I am PMS'ing?", I think to myself, trying to explain away my dire mood.  Symptoms of PMS include:  "fatigue (CHECK), confusion (UNCERTAIN), difficulty concentrating (HAS ANYONE SEEN MY CHEESE?), outbursts of anger towards self or others (sheepishly, CHECK), and feelings of guilt or increased fears (CHECK).  (PubMed Central)  As an example, I lost my mind on Comcast today, my camel's proverbial straw. They cut off the phone service at my office this morning due to a delinquent bill. As a new customer, I was naive enough to think they would actually send me one.  Their first course of action??? Phone call? No!  Perhaps they don't have my number... Email?  Supposedly, that is where my bills have been going...nada.  Customer service? Nada!  No apology, no nothing.  Pay up and f-you! 

There is a rare and delightful occasion when I lose my mind, after having been pushed too far.  My husband has been the witness/instigator of most of these episodes, which are rife with hysterical screaming and near every second word begins with "F".  A version of that happened to the kind young lady from Comcast today.  Most who know me, would be shocked to discover I am capable of such tirades, seeming so "calm and even keeled".  But in lieu of my recent depressive mood and apparent PMS molotov hormonal cocktail, the poor girl didn't stand a chance.

I know I suffer from PMS.  (Well, those around me actually do the suffering.)  Most women do.  The oft misunderstood fact about PMS is that even though we know we get it, we aren't aware we are having it, when we have it.  Did that make sense?  I know when I am PMS'ing it can be hard to understand me.  Everything we feel or say or decide, seems very rational and logical to us.  Even though I know after the fact, that I was overly emotional or depressed or cranky, when I am in it, it just seems normal.  Hormones are like that.  They sneak up on you and change your personality and perceptions, without you being aware it is happening. 

Upon further symptom review, it may be that this month, I am actually PMDD'ing rather than PMS'ing, or experiencing "Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder" which makes me even more unstable than PMS does.  These symptoms include: disinterest in daily activities and relationships (CHECK), fatigue or low energy (CHECK), feeling of sadness or hopelessness (CHECK),  feelings of tension or anxiety (CHECK), feeling out of control (CHECK), food cravings or binge eating (REMEMBER THE CHEESE?), mood swings (LIKE A PENDULUM), and persistent irritability or anger that affects other people (YOU'LL HAVE TO ASK MY FAMILY AND THE LADY FROM COMCAST... BUT I'LL GO OUT ON A LIMB...CHECK)". (PubMed Health)

Worse case scenario I may be suffering from both PMS and PMDD at the same time. Heaven help me, and consumer satisfaction departments everywhere!  I am comforted by this blanket of a diagnosis. I realize now that I don't hate Comcast or my mortgage company!  The world isn't going crazy.... I am!