Blog in Brief: What People are Saying in Response to "Oh Yeah Baby!"

Photo by scarycurlgirl_photos.

I tried to imagine how I would feel if a friend of mine were to write, as I did, about the sexual noises they make whilst making sweet, sweet, luuuv (said with a throaty, southern twang).  I am fairly certain none of my friends would write about something quite that personal, and even if they did, I am not sure I would want to know.  I realized how strange it actually is for me to write about the things that inspire me.  I have to remember that, for me, the purpose of this blog, unlike much of life, is to speak without filters, and to discuss things that so many of us live our lives wondering about, but never say.


I received a few comments about the last blog regarding "tactical copulatory vocalizations".  (Imagine a dinner party involving excessive alcohol and uninhibited conversation with this as a topic!  Consider it for your next event.  You're welcome.) Some of these comments brought about some new thoughts to explore, and I would like to share some of them.  One of my personal favorites was a text from my husband.  He doesn't usually read my blogs, unless I force him to.  He has been a patient and very tolerant muse, however, and it surprised me when he wrote, "How is your day going, SCREAMER?"  


The man's perspective on this has been interesting.  One fellow commented, "I read your latest blog post. Woah! Will stop this reply right there."  (I told him he was the guy by the broccoli.) These kinds of posts can be TMI, and I get that.  Some wondered if I had actually said those things, and they thought I was brave.  (Any story worth telling, is worth telling better).  My TMI friend did follow up with this comment, " I kinda like the fiction. I also don't love seeing the truth about the male ego. We are so simple."   I hated to be the one to break that to him...


If we were to replay each of our sexual highlight reels, as either the vocalizers or the maestro of said noises, we might each put a different spin upon what was actually going on, now that we know what these noises often indicate.  One gentleman shared, after I gave him a brief description of the blog content, the TRUE story of one of his oddest experiences with a sexual partner, that very nearly got him arrested for assault.  His liaison occurred at The Plaza hotel in NYC.  Upon "getting it on", this very vocal woman began exclaiming rather loudly, "I'm dying!  I'm dying!  Help me!  I'm dying".  As things progressed, she began to scream and howl enthusiastically.  Moments later, law enforcement began knocking furiously on the door fearing a crime was in progress!  As he was sharing his story, before reading the blog mind you, I warned him, he may want to read it before sharing any more vocal history, lest he realize, the likely intention of these, not so subtle, communiques.


Another good question came from a man wondering where I had learned that these vocal acts might be something I, as a naive sexual partner, should be doing.  I am not sure how old I was when I saw my first porn movie, but I am pretty sure it was after I began whooping it up in the sack.  My mother did have a copy of "Fear of Flying" lying around the house, which I secretly read from time to time during early adolescence. Perhaps I learned it there? (I have since read the book as an adult, for old times sake.)  Movies and sappy television shows were also great misrepresentations of uber, passionate sex scenes.  I suppose they might have influenced my expectations of sex (face mashing kissing, reckless clothes ripping, odd closeups of random body parts...)  When porn did enter into the equation (on a limited basis), I definitely began to turn up the volume and dirty up the dialogue.  It seemed to work for those guys. 


This same fellow confidently shared, that "...men are, indeed, able to discern the difference between a feigned "ahh" and a true gasp of pleasure..."  I dare say this confidence is the very issue at hand.  Will he accept the "Ahhs!" when he wants to believe they are the result of his astounding skill?  If he were to suspect feigned passion, would he dare to call out the woman?  "Hey, pipe down, I know this isn't that great!" 


 I'm not sure any man can tell if a women is faking it, if the woman doesn't want him to.  This confident fellow redeemed himself by further stating, "When people are enjoying a particularly good meal, they tend to fall silent - whereas you can talk all the way through a so-so meal. So, back to bed now, while vocalizations are welcome, silences are good, too."  Well said.


I must admit, I am surprised by the number of people who admit to being quiet.  I had for so long believed that every lover but me was moaning and groaning and screaming loudly for more.  I thought that was the norm and I was the aberration.   I can now have sex quietly and not be self conscious about it!  Chirp away crickets...I ain't sayin' nothin'!    See!! This is exactly why we talk about these things!