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| Photo by The Pug Father |
Nikki, a self described waxing expert, convinced me that I might consider the possibility that women who get a Brazilian are sexually empowering themselves. "Trust me," she tells me, "You are going to feel really hot!" I admit, for the first 48 hours I did indeed feel hot. And red, and irritated. Surprisingly less than I had anticipated however. I have yet to test drive the new coif in the sack, as I am making sure all is calm down there before getting down and dirty. My hubby however has shown signs of interest, including remembering I had the appointment in the first place, and asking me how it went. This is huge evidence that this procedure means something to him, as he does not remember ANYTHING!
When I entered Nikki's office for my appointment, I still wasn't convinced I was going to go through with it. It just sort of happened. Before I knew it, I was up on the table, naked from the waist down, and Nikki was up close and personal, slathering my bits with wax and tearing away. She was so matter of fact about it, I just went with the flow. We chatted and exchanged stories, with the occasional "Pull here" and "That was a tough one". Of all the strips she did, only four of them hurt moderately and then, only briefly. Nikki commended me for not flinching and being pretty stoic. I must confess that I did flinch a little and rated the pain of the tougher strips (those closest to the clitoris) at a 6/10, but only for a moment. She uses a blue wax that is gentler on the skin and targets the hair more directly.
She got a bird's eye view of my nether regions, as the positions we got in were reminiscent of the gynecologists office. I am glad I used my feminine wipes! She was strictly professional, and I felt very comfortable. The whole thing took her about 15 minutes. She informed me that many waxers can drag this out over 45 minutes. She proudly says that she can do the whole thing, most of the time, in under 20 minutes, and get all of the hair. "Some waxers who try to do it faster, end up not doing a great job and missing alot of hair. Even though I do it quickly, I make sure I get it all." We had decided to leave some hair behind, something Nikki recommends. We discussed my shape options. I could get a tortilla chip or a mini-chip as she called it, or a rectangular landing strip. For special occasions I learned that I could dress it up a bit and get a heart for valentine's day or a Christmas tree (with a very special present underneath) for Christmas. Nikki told me she doesn't mind doing some custom shapes, but letters and other requests are very challenging to create with the wax. I opted for the tortilla chip and she went to great pains to make sure it was even and straight.
Then it came time to do the back...this was my biggest fear for some reason. I just imagined that this would be incredibly painful and sensitive, not to mention awkward and embarrassing. She had me turn on my side, and grab one cheek. I was to lift it up and out of the way to allow Nikki free access. Another woman I had heard of was required to get on all fours for this part of the program, something that other waxers have commented reduces the dignity of the client. Nikki is adamant that a waxer who claims to be giving you a Brazilian but who fails to do this part of the procedure is not in fact doing a Brazilian wax. "Anyone who waxes and says "Yucky" about any part of this, should not be doing it. Period", she says. "If they don't do the butt, they should not charge you for a full Brazilian".
Surprisingly, this part of the procedure was a piece of cake (other than the part where she was staring at my asshole). Asses are ugly! I was having another women's panel that very evening, of which Nikki is a member, and I told her "Wow, here you are seeing my butt, and we will be sharing cocktails in a few short hours!" "Trust me, I won't remember your butt", she answered back. Hmm, I was slightly disappointed that my butt was forgettable.
Finally, after the last strip was pulled away, Nikki handed me a mirror, much like a hair dresser, to inspect her work. By this time I was so not-self-conscious, I grabbed the mirror, took a long look, and poked around a bit, exclaiming, "Ooh, it's so smooth!" She asked me to check for any strays and encouraged me to share, "I am not offended like some waxers are if you critique my work". I found no stragglers. I hopped off the bed and got dressed. Just like that, I was a porn star in the making!
As I settled up, Nikki warned me about a possible pee issue to be aware of. Now this was completely new information. "Most women love the way it feels to have a Brazilian. Some women don't, and one reason is the possibility of spraying when they urinate, and some dripping afterwards. Pubic hair helps direct the flow of urine, and once it is removed some women discover they are sprayers." Eww, kinda makes pubic hair sound even grosser!
I spent the rest of the day noticing if I felt any different. When I ran into a friend I asked her, "Do I look different?" I kept looking at people, thinking " I got a Brazilian! I got a Brazilian!" Fortunately, things in the bathroom were the same, so I was good with that part of it. Washing in the shower is a little weird, as there is nothing down there to lather up anymore, and everything is baby smooth. I have been hiding from my kids when I am naked, not sure how I will answer any questions about how different it looks down there, and it does. I have to admit though, it does not look creepy or like a child, it just looks clean and organized. Women have different anatomy downstairs, so each will look different after getting waxed. There are innies (the inner labia and the clitoris are inside the outer lips) and outies, where the inner labia and/or clitoris pass beyond the outer lips. Most women are outies, Nikki explains. (I am an inny).
So now there are a few more things I have to experience before I can give my final verdict. How is sex and does it make a difference? I am not sure if my sexual "hotness" is closely tied to my pubic hair or not, but it might be to my husband. How does it grow in and how long does it last? Nikki tells me that with regular waxing, the hair will soften and less and less of it will return. It is definitely something that I am no longer afraid of, and would be willing to do again. It really isn't the big deal I thought it was going to be. More updates to follow!
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