Blog on the spot: Have a Good Hair Day!

NOTE:  I am trying something new here: blogging from my mobile phone, on the spot.  Pardon the spelling errors etc. as the autocorrect on my mobile can sometimes create embarassing corrections.  Blog from: Lather Salon, Aspen Colorado.

Photo by MJ/TR (*w*)

'Bout time I made it in for a cut and color. My grey roots are getting so prolific, I am skunking up the place.  This is my issue with regular beauty regime maintenance: Where does the time go? I had been doing so well booking appointments in advance, thus preventing the embarrassing root grow in.  Except last time a friend was coming in when I was going out, and I spaced the 6 week rescheduling. It wouldn't be so bad if I weren't so grey...I would be seriously more salt than pepper if I were to go au natural.

This is my first blog on the spot...literally I am sitting under the hair dryer as I write this, frantically typing with both thumbs on a minature keyboard...I need to work on my two thumb typing technique. So I am not seeing my usual hair dresser lady...I lost access to her schedule due to my incompetent scheduling.   She is right beside me whilst I see another stylist but she seems okay with it and is even talking to me.   Oddly I don't think she has a problem with it.  I wonder if we really need to worry about betraying our hair stylists after all?

I was able to get into the owner's schedule, a tall strapping gentleman, well dressed and obviously fashion concious...he's supposed.to be better at cutting hair anyway right?  After all he does own the place.  I find him uncomfortably attractive. He is wearing a short sleeve, plaid button down, which he has rolled further up his rippling biceps, creating a perfectly creased cuff.  He is wearing some sort of designer navy dress pant with a cool belt, hugging his svelt waist.  His hair is long and wispy, almost sultry.    He even has one of those facial tufts under his bottom lip, I guess it's called a "Soul Patch".   Whenever I see those I can't help but think the man sporting it grows it solely for oral sex.  (I really do think that).  Overall he is a lot to look at!

Whew...this is a whole new experience.  I admit to getting a little tongue tied around attractive men..so the usual salon banter has left me.  I feel conspicuously underdressed: sneakers and capris. (I was at the golf course prior to my appointment).   My legs are fuzzy, the right-before-waxing hairy (how do women make it through this period of transition before waxing without grossing everyone out?)  We make some small talk, but I am off my game...trying too hard to be interesting, in a place where I am sure he meets many interesting people.

He did a great job with my hair, and he and my stylist compare notes.  He commented that it is good to have two stylist, so that if one of them were unavailable, I wouldn't just desparately run to the Cost Cutters down the street.  I suppose he has a point.  I was desperate and lucked out with the fabio-esque owner.  When I left, I remembered to reschedule, this time with my regular stylist.  I admit, I just don't feel as relaxed when a hot, metro guy is massaging my scalp!

Blog in Brief: Size Doesn't Matter

Photo by Pink Moose.

Penis size fascinates me.  I wish men were required to print this statistic on their driver's licenses: I'd card them all the time.  I am immensely curious about this for some reason, even though I believe that size doesn't matter....within reason.  When I say that, what I really mean, is bigger is not necessarily better.  I've personally enjoyed the best sexual pleasure with the average sized member.  The average size of a male schlong, incidentally, is a mere 6 inches.   Interestingly, in studies where researchers had men self report the size of their manhood, the averages began creeping higher.  Men lose all measurement ability when they reference their own johnsons. 

When I first started to have access to erect penises, I really had no point of reference to determine whether the penis at hand was big, small or regular.  They don't really teach you that in sex ed, and thank god I did not watch any porn until much later in life, or I would have been jaded/terrified forever!  As I got more penile experience under my belt, I mean, catalogued, I was able to expertly classify pinasculus dangler size upon immediate inspection.  Most guys I guess, presented above average.  I used to surreptitiously measure them using either their penis to belly button distance as point of reference or the distance from the tip of my middle finger to the base of my palm. 

I was, for some reason I can longer remember, either impressed or disappointed based upon this measurement.  Please don't get the wrong idea,  I haven't seen massive numbers of peni.  I have just catalogued all that I have seen, on my own mental size chart.  Why at a young age I became so fixated on this fact is beyond me.  The fear of encountering a small penis, often prevented me from going further with a fellow, and in retrospect, my criteria for forecasting the size of a man's dick, were spurious and juvenile at best.  One fellow I recall, persisted in getting me to sleep with him, and I resisted solely because I feared his wiener was small.  One drunken night, I gave in, and was pleasantly surprised that I had completely misjudged him.  I regretted having delayed the encounter as long as I had.  I wish I had known then what I know now...see Man Hands blog.

There were big penises, but mostly there were average penises.  Until one day, I met a handsome young fellow, who had been an underwear model, and was as hot as the desert sun!  As any well mannered woman might, I held out before sleeping with him.  Whence finally the moment was right, and socially appropriate, we began to move to the next phase of our relationship.  To my utter astonishment, and I must admit panicked confusion, this poor fellow sported the smallest wanker I had ever seen.   All size chart standard references were blown out of the water.  I froze.  I was about to head south of the equator, if you get my drift, and immediately put the reverse lights on, literally unable to figure out what to do.  Poor fellow.  No doubt he spent much of his dating life with similar reactions.

Over time, as I have sexually matured, more so with my own needs and wants, I have begun to learn that, other than the super small underwear model penis (that is the "within reason" I mentioned above), big penises are over rated.  They are fun to lust after and make jokes about, but when push comes to shove, they just aren't all that good a fit.  I pity the porn star ladies, paid to take on those monstrous woodies.  I find it very hard to believe any part of that is pleasurable.  Not to mention the fact that those ultra endowed men thrust away like mad men.  In retrospect, the best sex I have had did not come with large fellows.

Anyhoo, the point is, you average guys have it made.  Talented maneuvering definitely has something to do with your success, not to take away any style points from the crafty among you, but quite frankly, your more appropriate penis size, allows us to relax and focus on how everything feels rather than how to avoid internal injuries.  Viva the modestly endowed man!

"Bless Me Father, For I Am Forty!"

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