Blog in Brief: Kids Are Bad Bosses

Photo by Jontintinjordan.

I have to give credit to the inspiration for this blog in brief to my sister.  As you may recall, she is the subject of "Motherhood Sucks" and "Go The $%#@ to Sleep".  She is still in the midst of toddler-dom, and has very little control over her own identity right now.  The transition from a fast paced, successful, corporate, career woman to never ending, mind numbing games of peek-a-boo and the torment of potty training, can be hard on one's psyche.  Yes, yes, for you cinderellas out there, parenting is a beautiful and rewarding experience, but you have to admit, sometimes you would rather be anywhere else on the face of our wondrous planet, than changing a poopy diaper at three in the morning.  Can I get an AMEN!

In a sleep deprived moment of creative humor, my sister began comparing her new role as "mom" to her previous role as corporate executive.  Her children became her "boss" and she their "employee".  She developed a list of questions with which to evaluate her bosses' performance.


1.  Have you been working on the same project for four years with no possible end in sight?


2.  Does your boss scream at you, hit you, bite you, pee and poop on you, your belongings and all of your work?


3.  Does your boss disagree with absolutely everything you say, only to acquiesce at a later time?


4.  Does you boss change the requirements of your job every 30 seconds?


5.  Do you have to wipe your boss's ass several times per day?


6.  Does your boss and all of your colleagues randomly mess with your schedule or rearrange your desk and all of your supplies on a regular basis?


7.  When you go out to lunch with your boss, does he throw food at you and all of your utensils and napkins on the floor?

8.  Does you boss demand that your remain on call 24 hours a day and prefer to assign special projects between 1:00 am and 5:00 am?

9.  If you try to leave your boss alone for a moment, does he immediately begin to cry?

10.  During important phone conversations, does your boss constantly scream and interupt you, only to become quiet when you get off of the phone?

If you answered yes to any one of these questions, you are either in a toxic employer/employee relationship or simply, a parent.